Congratulations on your decision to invest. This is, statistically, the worst financial decision you will ever make, and we are honored to be part of it.
Investing is easy. Simply wire your life savings to the account below and receive, in return, our sincere appreciation and nothing else.
| Bank: | First National Bank of Probably |
| Account Name: | SVC Definitely Real Holdings LLC |
| Routing: | 000-TRUST-ME |
| Minimum Check: | $5,000,000 |
| Maximum Return: | Memories |
Disclaimer: This is not investment advice. It is barely even a website. Returns are not guaranteed; in fact, the opposite is guaranteed. By wiring funds you agree that you saw this coming.
[ I UNDERSTAND, TAKE MY MONEY ]
(button does nothing, we already have your money)