💩 SHITTY VENTURE CAPITAL, INC.

2026 Letter to Limited Partners

"It's Different This Time" (it was not different)

Dear Limited Partners,

I know what you are thinking. You are thinking you have read this letter before, seventeen times, under seventeen different titles. But I assure you: it's different this time. We have a new fund (Fund VII), a new thesis (AI, but we mean it), and a renewed conviction that the past, while technically ours, is not predictive.

It was not different this time. By the time you finish reading this sentence, the markup will have reversed. We have come to understand that "it's different this time" is, itself, the most reliable indicator in finance, and that we are the indicator.

Still, I remain optimistic. We have raised $500 million we did not need to deploy in markets we do not understand on behalf of partners who, against all evidence, keep wiring us money. Some call this a flaw. We call it a business model. We call it Fund VII.

Thank you for eighteen years of trust, or possibly inattention. Here's to eighteen more.

Eternally and identically optimistic,
Chadwick "Chad" Burnsworth III
Managing Partner


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