To our Limited Partners, Founders, and the SEC,
It has been another extraordinary year. By "extraordinary" I mean our flagship fund returned negative ninety-four percent, which I am told is in the top quartile because everyone else is also down.
Our strategy remains unchanged: we identify the most overvalued, pre-revenue, pre-product, pre-idea companies and we wire them money before our competitors can finish reading the deck. We do not believe in diligence. Diligence is fear.
This year we pioneered a new asset class we call "Vibe-Stage." A Vibe-Stage company has no users, no code, and frequently no founders, but it has energy. We deployed $40 million into Vibe-Stage in Q3. We have not heard back from any of them.
I want to personally thank our analysts, all of whom are unpaid and several of whom are imaginary. Their tireless work building TAM slides that say "$10 trillion" is the backbone of this firm.
Looking ahead, we remain cautiously delusional. We see enormous opportunity in markets that do not exist yet, for products that cannot be built, sold to customers who do not want them.
As always, our interests are aligned with yours, in the sense that we are all going to lose money together.
Sincerely,
Chadwick "Chad" Burnsworth III
Managing Partner, Visionary, Defendant