💩 SHITTY VENTURE CAPITAL, INC.

Annual & Interim Burn Reports

In the interest of radical transparency, we disclose exactly how quickly we are setting capital on fire. Figures are unaudited because the auditor also quit.

Metric This Year Last Year
Capital Committed $500,000,000 $500,000,000
Capital Remaining $11.40 $240,000,000
Net IRR -97% -61%
Companies Funded 43 41
Companies Still Alive 0 2
Management Fees Collected $10,000,000 $10,000,000
Espresso Machines Purchased 14 9
Offsites to Tulum 6 4

Burn Rate: Approximately one (1) Series A per weekend.

Runway: We define "runway" as the number of days until the LPs notice. Current estimate: 3.


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