💩 SHITTY VENTURE CAPITAL, INC.

At Shitty Venture Capital, we deploy capital according to a rigorous, data-driven framework that we made up in an Uber. Our thesis can be summarized in three pillars:

Pillar One: If the founder is taller than us, we invest.
Height correlates with leadership. This is not in any study. We did not look.

Pillar Two: We only back markets we do not understand.
Understanding a market introduces doubt, and doubt does not return 100x. If we can explain what the company does, we pass immediately.

Pillar Three: The pitch deck must contain the word "platform."
Not a product. A platform. Ideally a "platform for platforms." Bonus capital if there is a slide that just says "MOAT" in a large font.

Sectors We Love

• Things that sound like other successful things
• Whatever was on a podcast last Tuesday
• Companies founded by someone the partner met at brunch
• Acronyms we cannot expand (AI, ML, B2B, LLM, WTF)

Sectors We Avoid

• Profitable businesses (no upside)
• Anything with customers (too needy)
• Companies that have shipped a product (overbuilt)

Our thesis is a living document, by which we mean we change it after every loss and call it "conviction."