💩 SHITTY VENTURE CAPITAL, INC.

Dear Limited Partner,

You are receiving this message because you are expecting a distribution. We are writing to gently lower that expectation.

After a thorough review of the fund's holdings, the distribution this quarter will be $0.00. We recognize this is the same distribution as last quarter, and the quarter before that. We admire the consistency.

In lieu of cash, please accept the following in-kind distributions:

• One (1) commemorative tote bag with our old logo on it
• Equity in a company that has been "about to close a round" since 2021
• A heartfelt thank-you note, undated, unsigned
• Carried interest in a fund that carries nothing

We understand you may have questions, such as "where is the money" and "is this legal." Please direct these questions to our contact page, which is also non-functional.

We remain, as ever, your trusted stewards of capital, briefly.

Warmly,
The Distributions Committee
(it's just Chad)