For Immediate Release - March 15, 2026
FIRM CLARIFIES THAT "RETURNS" IN MARKETING MATERIALS REFERRED TO RETURNING PHONE CALLS
SAN FRANCISCO - In response to inquiries from Limited Partners, Shitty Venture Capital, Inc. ("SVC") today issued a clarification regarding the word "returns" as used throughout its marketing materials, pitch decks, and the large banner in its lobby reading "WE DELIVER RETURNS."
"We want to be transparent," said Managing Partner Chadwick Burnsworth III. "When we said 'returns,' we meant that we return phone calls. Promptly, usually within two business days. We have always returned calls. On that metric, our track record is exceptional."
The firm emphasized that at no point did it use the word "returns" in the financial sense, which it described as "a common misreading" and "honestly on you for assuming."
SVC noted it is reviewing other words in its materials that may have been similarly misunderstood, including "profit," "growth," and "fiduciary."
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